Road to Nirvana

Just another day in just another town,
Walking, strolling, and dancing in the wind,
I wonder why the sun always rises from the East,
It makes the Sun so predictable!

I see, plenty others staring at Him,
Hoping that He would show some mercy,
I wonder what they lose if their prayers are unheard,
Life goes on like the eternal sun.

I thought my job was perhaps the most banal of all,
And thought, there are thousands of bored people like me,
I saw the Sun and the prayers,
And realized that my life is no different from theirs,
We walk the same road and crisscross in oblivion

What would I be if I wasn’t just another average Joe, with an average job?
What would I do, if I had no reason to work?
What would I do, if I had no reason to live?
What would I do…why should I do anything?

What drives us crazy to do something?
Hope that it will be a better day tomorrow?
Will to succeed and be the best?
Madness to rise above the rest?

I ask my alter-ego who seems to be always happy
Maybe it exists to see another Sunrise, to see another sunset,
To see another smile, to see another tear,
To see another night, to see another moon & stars,
Live on…Live on…Eternity comes before 100!

Am just another ghost, in just another town,
Waiting for the sun to rise to start my day
A day devoid of reason, but ironically, the means to find a reason
If everything is so predictable, then where does the smile or tears come from?

I tell my shadow to follow me,
Too difficult to lay all your egos at rest,
If escaping from yourself is the solution,
Where would you go to live a life?
It’s the same sun, same wind, and same night everywhere.
Madness, confusion, smile, tears, hope, destiny, Oblivion, Chaos, Win, Loss, Conquer, Defeat, Bliss, Innocence, Happiness, Knowledge, Nirvana….

What dreams may come true?

Far away in the sky,
Came an unlikely guest to peep across the horizon,
A horizon quite unlikely to have taken place
But when it did, nothing could stop it.

The flakes of snow which kissed my cheeks all this time,
seem to have vanished in no time
And the moment the sun came into the picture,
I knew I had a reason to smile.

What does it mean to smile...to chuckle?
I look at the solitary swing in my backyard,
And smile at an era bygone, when there was joy around,
Now, all I do is wonder what and when did things go wrong?

Isolated are the streets and so are my dreams,
I can't think of anything different from what I see,
Images gory pass through my mind,
but i wonder who gives them a reason to occur in first place.

I hold the edges of the threads dangling from my mother's dress,
And think of the days, when this would have been an oddity
that the queen of the house can't maintain the dress properly
But what do I do, I see the awkward silence on her face
And wonder, where did her aura go?

All I hear outside are boots singing in unison,
they remind me of another futile battle,
A battle, where everything is lost after the victory.
It's not the battle for power but of egos

I cry not because I am sad, but to wash the dirt on my face,
I can't think any more and have dreams
But if I am still existing, then maybe there's still some hope left
To see the day, when I can walk down the road without any fear...

I dream to see the sky azure, without any smoke
I dream to fly a kite without a bullet piercing it,
I dream to walk around the bazaar and haggle for everything possible
I dream to sleep everynight without fear
I dream...to dream...and dream...and dream...

First Take

Everything you are about to read is not fictitious, any resemblance to an event or idea existent or not, is purely intentional and not coincidental. Although, I am just going to write about what I think, and not emphasizing on what one should think.

The following post is a real scenario which came too close to existence but couldn’t in the end. So, everything that I write here is genuine stuff and not a figment of my imagination.

One fine day, I was wondering what’s the best thing to talk about in front of 119 people. Should it be something which everyone understands. Or should it be one which might interest people to actually listen to me?...By the end of the day, it struck me that, maybe I can talk about what I love to talk about if given a chance….Cinema.
Suddenly, my brain put on its thinking cap and tons of incidents, ideas, trivia popped up and I indeed had a lot of stuff to talk about. And for a moment I daydreamt of the scene where I would be talking about this stuff…literally nothing short of Robert Langdon clearing some myth to his students in Da Vinci Code…(Oops…I think that was exaggerated to quite an extent, but I guess you have an idea of how excited I was.)
And the daydream developed into a good script which takes place like this….

“Good Afternoon One and all….My name is Hemanth Kumar and I am from Batch 827 And today I am going to talk about Cinema and its Impact”

“I understand that each one of us understand cinema in a different way, so I would relate my experiences with Cinema and how it has influenced me. Before going any further, I would like to have a close look at this letter from English Alphabet….”i” What all things can you think of when you look at this letter?!
1. 9th letter in the alphabet.
2. The only vowel which exists along with a meaning.
3. The only letter which is giving the same preference as your own Name and even God. Have you ever thought why should we equate ourselves to God?!...or why should the first letter when referring to God should be in caps?!

What I mean to say is, when you can come up so much stuff, so many questions from just one letter, imagine the impact thousands of word would have on you?! If you believe that a picture speaks a thousand words, imagine the impact created by thousands and thousands of images. That’s the amount of information you can convey through cinema…absolutely impeccable, and endless possibilities when you think about it.

Before going ahead, let me define what Cinema means to me through a small story. In some parts of the world, before all the modern techniques came into existence, Gold was extracted in a different method. Hundreds of tons of sand would be processed to extract gold. If man had given up digging for Gold because there was too much sand, maybe we could never have got Gold…for me Cinema is that Gold. So, cinema for me is something which makes an impact…and sand is the stuff which is available in plenty around, sometimes hindering people from differentiating quality stuff from the banality around.

There are two quotes which really inspired me…something which reiterate why it’s great falling in love with movies…

“If photography is truth, then Cinema is Truth 24 times a second”-a quote from the French movie…”Le Petit Soldat”
“Talking about movie, is like talking about Dreams”-Fredrico Felini, Italian director, one of the greatest filmmakers ever.

The process of making an image movie is quite similar to the way, how we as kids used to make cartoons at the top of the page and flip it at one go, it looks as if the action is taking place. Similarly, for every second there are 24 frames (pictures) moved at a go, so that looks like an action.
All of us watch movies for different reasons, some would say it’s just entertainment, some for timepass…and quite a few would agree that it really changes the way you think about things around and life in general. Coming to some of the types of cinema, there do exist quite a number of types of cinema, prominent among them are the Commercial cinema and the Parallel cinema. And these can be divided further on the basis of the genres that they fall under...like Action, Drama, Romance…etc.

In my view, people who make commercial cinema understand what people want to see and Parallel Cinema, expects the audience to think and try to understand what the director wants to convey. Most of the times, they literally put you off to sleep…so, it really a test of your patience and your interest in cinema. Personally I like parallel cinema, because I tend to relate the protagonists to people around me and most of the times I find that people don’t sing, dance like what’s shown in commercial cinema…and they are not some superheroes either. Most of the times, Parallel cinema is quite successful in portraying people in different shades where they have feelings quite similar to how you and I feel.

What makes Cinema such an interesting thing is its power to reach a wider audience and also make people aware of several issues like War, Genocide, Racism in places where it is not known. There are plenty of movies which deal with issues related to war…like few of the WWII movies which depict the atrocities by Nazis (have to say, that’s just a part of the greater picture associated with war) and you have loads of documentaries which bring the views from inside…for example, Farenheit 9/11, Sicko, The Inconvenient Truth etc. There are few other great movies which have been adaptations from great books, plays. People surprise you with their view of life…someone like Stanley Kubrick, Andrei Tarkovsky, Ingmar Bergman (these people are adept at depicting traits like loneliness, spirituality, Dark comedies…etc).

Let me take you back to my past, maybe you will get an idea about how this passion for movies started. In Andhra Pradesh, we have a great culture with respect to movies. Every festive season there are tons of movies released, there was a time when we would end up watching everything. This phenomenon transformed to Passion for cinema 15 years later. And I realized how much I had fallen in love with movies in college. Should say it had made me more and more interesting towards things other than books and grades. And I am deeply indebted to it for this. On the flipside, if I have to say, about the not so good things…I became a couch potato, am 84kilos right now and deeply confused about what I am doing right now….But would also add that I know clearly what I love the most, and what I would do few years down the lane.

People always ask me how I get so much stamina to watch movies (I am not exaggerating, the average count was around 3-4 movies per day at one point of time…). The answer is…. I don’t know, probably we don’t mind spending time for something which we love to do. Foreign Cinema, especially that from Europe has made me realize the power and outreach of great cinema. Directors like Bergman, Felini, Pedro Almodovar, Roman Polanski and loads of others from France have redefined my perspective of cinema. Their take on themes that are difficult to comprehend and satirical subjects create an impact which only few can understand; which makes the very point of watching all their so called “philosophical” and “boring” movies so interesting and demanding to watch. It’s like having to talk to a person whom you don’t want to talk to. But after sometime, you tend to look for ways to like that person. And when you do fall in love with that person, you wonder how could you think the way you earlier were thinking? Watching a great movie makes me feel like that. And foreign cinema…the more you watch it, I sometimes feel that the more original themes seem. It’s like eating ice-creams…first you would try having all the flavours and then decide which one you like more. For me, foreign cinema is an untouched flavour.

A bit about Indian Cinema, it has come a great way from Alam Ara to Shree 420, from Mughal-E-Azam to Sholay to Lagaan. What’s most interesting about the trend in Indian Cinema is the effect of the Indian psyche or the conditions in the society which have been adapted so well in many of the movies. The movies which came in the decade after Independence had a huge influence of the prevalent conditions like fight for land, hunger, man vs machines and so on. Some of the best examples for this kind of genre are….Do Bheega Zameen, Mother India, Naya Daur. And then came Mughal-E-Azam, by far such grandeur hasn’t been achieved in Indian Cinema History (perhaps Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s Devdas might come close…but considering that Mughal-E-Azam is from 60’s, it has an upper hand). This film took 9 years to finish, some 4000 horses, 8000 troops were used for the war scenes. Also one of the first Indian Films to have a song in Colour (Jab Pyar Kiya tho Darna Kya?), it was a commercial BlockBuster, and one of the very few films which was granted a theatrical release in Pakistan. In the year 1975, another film took the nation by storm, Sholay. Never in the history of the cinema would people end up loving everything associated with the movie. Dialogues would last for eternity and so will the action and emotion. 80’s brought along with it themes like fight for justice, socialism and also the influence of emergency was clearly evident. 90’s was dominated by Romance and we had films like DDLJ stand up for more than a decade. Then in 2001, a film came which turned cinema halls in Cricket Stadiums, Lagaan. Never had a movie captured the imagination of the entire nation the way Lagaan had done. Eventually it was nominated for Oscars and was one of the five finalists. And no list of classic movies is complete without the mention of directors like Satyajit Ray, Adoor Gopalakrishnan and a host of others from Malayalam and West Bengal.

Cinema is also a great medium to bring forth issues to a wider audience. One of the best examples could be stated is that of Marlon Brando. When he had won the Oscar for his role in Godfather, he sent a little known actress named Sacheen Littlefeather who was dressed in the Red Indian Style. And he wrote a letter which she read out to the august audience, the reasons why he wasn’t present on the occasion, and also his objections to the depiction of Native Americans by Hollywood and Television. In 1915, D.W.Griffith came up with a movie “Birth of a Nation” about white supremacy and interracial relationships. Although, it had a bit of negative impact on the society at large, it was also responsible for the resurrection of Ku Klux Klan.

With the advent of new technology and also internet, piracy movie marketing, distribution and advertising have taken the centre stage. There was a time when we had to wait for 6 months, sometimes even a year for an English movie, but the trend changed with Matrix Revolutions, the movie released worldwide on a single day. In India, Reliance came up with a strategy where the movies could be telecasted through satellite. What this means is, cinema halls in rural and remote areas wouldn’t have to wait for longer time to watch a movie…they can simply order a movie within a week of release and it will be telecasted. Also movie merchandising and distribution with the entry of huge corporate houses has helped the production houses rake in huge profits.

There’s a famous debate on whether “Life imitates art or Art imitates Life?” Whatever maybe the case, the ultimate aim of a film should be to influence and make an impact. We have more than 6 billion people across the world. And each one of them have a different story to tell, a different point of view of life…which means at any point of time, we must have more than 5 billion stories….so, it’s crap to say that we don’t have enough films…either you haven’t come across enough or you haven’t made an effort to catch a flick. I would like to conclude this session with a brief mention of my transitions in life. I call it the CD transition. When I was a kid, C stood for Cat and D for Dog. After few years, C was for Cool, and D for Drinks. In college, C stood for Compact and D for Disks. And now, at the turn of an important phase of my life, I have realized that C is for Cinema and D is for Dreams. I hope we as a generation pass the knowledge what we have gained from this life and not what you learnt from your forefathers. I hope we never cease to believe that possibilities are endless and there can never be an end to what one can think. I hope that we never cease to explore the unknown and interpret things more and more.


Thank You and I hope You Dream a Lot!!!

I, Dream

Rays of Sun with a gentle breeze,
Birds chirping in a distant corner,
And a coffee in hand & smile on your face and next,
Is it yet another day or am I waking up to one?

Traveling through hordes of anxious eyes,
Trying to come across the same as yours,
What wishes may come true?
What dreams may come true?

I am not on top where I have to be,
Maybe that’s a good thing to know that you have a long way to go,
And a step forward is just the starting,
You might just end up at a different destination.

What’s good for me & what’s bad…
Do I know or should I know?
I look around to understand this,
And find the same rebound.

Anxiety should I call it or fear of unknown,
At a time when every moment is meant to be exciting,
I sniff something around,
I think I am trying to read alien thoughts.

I am not crawling, am trying to walk,
I want to fall down,
I want to melt infront of an adversary,
And when I see myself standing the next day,
I know I have won, I am still standing.

Walk until you droop, you will know the road,
Run until you stop, you will endure the fight & the race,
Live and let the destiny take you along,
After all things shouldn’t be kept under control.

Dream….dream….dream
What dreams can you dream?
What dreams do you wish would come true?
What dreams end as dreams?
I, Dream….Do you?

-Hemanth

(23-10-07)

This poem was written on the second day at Satyam...Auditorium, loads of people around and me...

The "Y" Side...

A generous smile greeted me when I opened my eyes,
It was different around than what I had imagined in my mother's womb,
I tried to move around and saw him then,
My source, such was his graceful appearance...

I instantly realised that I knew him,
He had heard me move in my mother's womb,
Placing his hand to feel how big I had grown,
That was my first contact with things alien separated by a thin membrane..

One day, he took me around,
me sitting on his shoulders,
to a place too far that I can't remember,
To see a Sun setting, a life down the hill gearing up for the night.

I wondered, why he was so calm most of the time,
Everyone else around seem to talk as if there's no tomorrow,
He replied for everything with an unreasonable smile and calmness,
I believed everything what others had told about him...he was so unusual!

One fine day, I happened to see his other side,
He was talking too much....and something seemed to be awry,
I think he just wanted to be himself,
A shade of his persona which was unknown to many.

Years later I looked at myself in the mirror,
And couldn't stop wondering,
How in the world could two people be so similar!
I had inherited his calmness...that eternal calmness!
and everything which people couldn't understand about him...

He's more than twice my age now
and staring down at the other half of life,
he drops a little hints here and there,
just to make me realize that my days have come to stand up for the rest!

Another day,Another night
I come across the bills and recall those visits,
For a moment I forget about the blood and hysteria around
Thinking about the feeling of togetherness...if only for a brief time
A privacy felt amongst a crowd...in a foreign land...

I think the day isn't too far,
which he had been preparing me for,
A day when he no longer would be on my side holding my hand
and let me fly free with time...

If only he could be with me,
To let me put my head on his shoulder,
and see the sun going down the sea,
With a calmness that exists between us...


P.S...To a person who gave me my name
From a person trying to live upto that name....